Of Secret Missions and Failed Plans
by HoneydewKisses
Summary: Canon until "On my Way". In which Kurt sets out to discover Sebastian's dark past and somehow ends up married to him along the way.


EDIT: An anon asked why Kurt was bitching about Brian Kinney - that's simple! Because he's too much like early Sebastian ;)

* * *

Kurt Elizabeth Hummel is, by nature, a very forgiving person, a trait he both likes and hates about himself. He has forgiven the boys in Glee, who used to toss him into dumpsters and throw him against lockers, he has forgiven David, who used to do the same with a dose of unhealthy homoerotic obsession on top. He continues to forgive Mr. Shue for constantly disregarding Kurt's talent, Blaine for trying to make Kurt into someone he isn't and Rachel for... well, being Rachel.

Kurt has forgiven a lot of people and as he stares down at Sebastian's apologetic face and raises an eyebrow sceptically, he knows that he will forgive him, too. Sure, it might take a while because hello, 'Puerto-Rican Pride Parade' aside there's still the issue of him almost blinding Kurt's boyfriend and being indirectly involved in David's suicide attempt. But maybe Sebastian's heartfelt confession actually _is_ sincere, maybe he does regret what he did to Blaine and even though Kurt doesn't get an apology for all the shit Sebastian has pulled on him (and wasn't the slushie meant for Kurt's clothes in the first place?), he supposes it could be enough. Barely.

It's not like Sebastian wants Kurt's forgiveness, anyway. Still, even after Regionals are over and the New Directions find themselves on the road to Nationals once more, Kurt can't seem to get the irritating boy out of his mind. Not in a romantic way, mind you, because that would be just - ew. Think of the STDs. But Kurt wonders.

Wonders if perhaps there is more to the promiscuous meerkat than he lets on.

After all, Kurt is not stupid. He knows that Sebastian the Villain did not just jump out from under a rock to appear in the Lima Bean and make Kurt and Blaine's life difficult. He knows Sebastian is a boy just like them, that he has a family, that he had a childhood and that he wasn't always like he is now, wasn't inviting the male nurse for a ride in the bathroom the moment he came out screaming from his mother's belly.

...Kurt's brain works in the most mysterious ways sometimes.

Anyway. Fact is: Sebastian can't have always been an asshole. Something must have happened in his past to make him into the person he is now. Something horrible. And Kurt is determined to find out what.

He'd be killing two birds with one stone, really. One, being the good person that he is, Kurt would be happy to help Sebastian become a better person himself. Or, well, blackmail him into it with the juicy details of his past. Two, with Sebastian being a good guy, the harassment and shameless flirting would finally stop and Kurt and Blaine would once again be able to enjoy their afternoons in the Lima Bean in peace.

It's the perfect plan and the evening of that same day, Kurt sits down at his desk and makes a list. He also spends an hour or two (or three or four) reading Drarry fanfiction on the internet because there's no one like Harry and Draco to demonstrate the effects of living in a dysfunctional household and besides, everyone agrees they must have had a go at each other behind the scenes at least once so Kurt doesn't really feel guilty about imagining two underage boys getting their mack on.

In the end, what he comes up with is this.

Possible Dark Pasts

- family trouble: divorce, abuse, emotional abuse, annoying sibling(s) getting all the attention, someone died

- friend trouble: no friends, bad influence friends

- France: what happens in Paris stays in Paris? Drugs? Traumatising mugging? Kidnapping?

- damaged childhood: no friends, moving from place to place, other stuff

- bullying: because of being gay? because of being smart? because of being unfairly good-looking?

- sex addiction? look up on Wikipedia

It's not much but then again, Kurt doesn't really know much about Sebastian so he supposes it'll have to do for now. There's always room for more traumas, after all.

That night, Kurt falls into bed with a smug grin stretching his lips. Kurt Hummel is on a mission and Sebastian Smythe won't know what hit him.

* * *

The next time they meet is a few days later. It happens, unsurprisingly, at the Lima Bean, although this time it's Kurt who strides up to Sebastian's table while the other boy seems to be slaving away on some kind of essay.

"It's 'you're' and not 'your', actually," Kurt says as he leans over Sebastian's shoulder to see what he's writing. "And I can't believe someone in high school still makes this mistake." Which, okay, might not be the best way to start a conversation with the person you want to know the deepest secrets of but it's _Sebastian Smythe _they're talking about and Kurt's still learning.

Meanwhile, Sebastian jumps in his seat, almost spilling his coffee as he turns around to look up at Kurt. His features twist into a sneer immediately. "Figures you'd be a grammar nerd, Hummel. What do you want?"

Kurt raises an eyebrow, surprised by the defensiveness in Sebastian's tone and posture that had not been there before David's... before. He takes his time with his answer, striding past the other boy and over to the opposite side of the small table, where he perches on the free chair and crosses his legs primly. "Nothing in particular," he replies, taking a sip of his coffee with a grin. "Just wanted to check if you're still keeping to the good boy attitude."

"Why?" Sebastian asks, the familiar smirk reappearing on his face. "Scared your boyfriend might go for the bad boys?"

Kurt rolls his eyes. "Even though Blaine might have said that he forgives you, Sebastian, you know just as well as I do that it doesn't mean he has _forgotten_. It's over, Meerkat. You've blown your chance, so to say. Not that you ever had one in the first place."

"Why are you talking to me then?" comes the predicted question which makes Kurt smile like a cat that has gotten the cream. So far, this conversation has been going exactly as he planned it.

"I suppose I'm bored," he shrugs with played nonchalance while observing his perfectly manicured nails. "The New Directions are being relatively peaceful after our victory... And you're interesting enough to pass the time. The lonely Warbler, fallen from grace after ruining his Glee club's spotless reputation and then not even managing to one-up the rejects from public school at Regionals." Kurt's voice is smooth and sharp like a knife seeking blood. "I could almost pity you."

There is something hard and cold behind the unimpressed expression on Sebastian's face as he watches Kurt stand up and lean forwards, one hand braced on their shared table. Kurt thinks it might be hurt but then again, he doesn't really care. He's on a mission.

"Payback is a bitch, Smythe. I'll be seeing you."

With that, Kurt turns and saunters away without giving Sebastian the time to form a reply. He leaves the Lima Bean with a satisfied smile on his face; the first part of the plan has been completed. Kurt knows that Sebastian wouldn't have believed him had he tried to be friendly from the start – they have too much history for that. But this, this is simply perfect. Kurt now has a reason to approach Sebastian every time they run into each other at the Lima Bean and Sebastian? Well, he won't be able to resist the challenge. And, with time, Kurt can pretend he actually cares and Sebastian will be putty in his hand. It'll take a while, sure, but...

The seed has been planted.

* * *

Now that the plan has been set into motion, Kurt finds himself spending more money on buying coffee in the Lima Bean than on clothes- well okay, not really. He would just _buy_ the entire coffee shop if that was true. Which might not be such a bad idea because recently, he's there practically every day.

The plan is actually working.

More than two weeks have passed since that first encounter and since then, Kurt has talked to Sebastian five times. Of course, it's still mostly an exchange of insults, but he discovers that he doesn't really mind. It's almost fun, like fencing but without the sweaty armpits, and if from time to time, Kurt will slip in a hint about improving Sebastian's essay while he works on it (hidden behind jabs to the other boy's intellect, naturally), well, it's all for the mission's sake.

It also looks like he's wearing Sebastian down because while most of the time, his ex-rival looks at him like he's either not sure which mental institution Kurt has just escaped from or which river he wants to throw his cold dead body into, there's also definitely more amusement and less annoyance in his eyes every time Kurt approaches his table. And when sometime during the fourth week, Sebastian is the one to approach Kurt's table for the first time since the 'reboot' (as Kurt has taken to calling the change in their... acquintanceship), flopping down into the opposite chair and grumbling "Seriously, you're _always_ here" into his coffee, Kurt is pretty sure this is a battle he's winning.

He gets his confirmation in week five.

Sebastian seems especially moody on that day, staring morosely at the table and answering in short, biting sentences that drip with the malice Kurt had been expecting before the reboot, but now finds has been mostly missing from their exchanges over the past few weeks. Finally, he gets sick of it and drops the sarcastic pretense he's been keeping up to not raise any suspicions.

"What's wrong?" he asks, letting concern seep into his voice and tilting his head down to be able to look into Sebastian's downcast eyes.

The gaze Kurt is met with is wary, but after a few moments, Sebastian sighs and answers "I'm not the Warblers' Captain anymore." His tone is defeated and he's almost pouting, and yes, Kurt thinks, _this_ is what progress looks like.

He stays at Sebastian's table for over an hour after that, the longest the two of them have ever been in each other's company, and although no deep dark secrets are revealed on that day, and Sebastian doesn't really tell him anything about the motivations behind his actions, Kurt still gets to hear about Warbler politics and intrigues between private school boys, and Sebastian laughs at some of Kurt's memories of his time at Dalton and leaves the Lima Bean with his shoulders less tense and his eyes brighter than before.

The next day, Kurt's coffee is waiting for him at the table that has somehow become "theirs" as Sebastian greets him a bit awkwardly. Kurt doesn't find it adorable and doesn't feel guilty for having a hidden motive.

"Why did you care?" Sebastian asks and avoids Kurt's eyes as he waits for the reply.

"I thought you might need a friend," Kurt answers and it doesn't feel like a lie in that moment.

* * *

From that day on, the plan is in full motion.

Kurt and Sebastian develop a schedule without even noticing, and soon, they're meeting at the Lima Bean every second school day and sometimes on the weekends. When Kurt comes in first, he buys them cheesecake; when Sebastian arrives earlier, Kurt's coffee is waiting for him by the time he joins the other boy. Sometimes, they talk animatedly about everything they can think of; sometimes, they do their homework, content to be silent in the other's presence. Kurt gives Sebastian his number in case he ever needs advice to compensate for his horrible essay writing skills; Sebastian texts him random thoughts and rage faces.

Kurt is pretty sure they're friends. He's also pretty sure that he can cross off the 'friends' section of his list because while Sebastian still tells raunchy tales of his adventures in Scandals, it's obvious that it's Nick and Jeff whom he spends most of his time with.

Although 'sex addiction' is still very much a possibility.

By the time the second month since the beginning of Kurt's mission rolls around, it occurs to him that he might have underestimated the magnitude of this task. After all, it's not like even the best of friends constantly throw their deepest secrets at each other, especially not in a crowdy setting like the Lima Bean. Sure, he can derive bits and pieces from their discussions – 'divorced parents', 'death in the family' and 'bullying' are being crossed out soon enough – but Kurt obviously doesn't even come _close_ to the abyss he is looking for.

For some reason, however, he's reluctant to take their friendship out of the Lima Bean and onto a deeper level. It doesn't feel right. Maybe it's because it seems like going too far, lying too much. After all, Kurt's just on a mission, it's not like he's _really_ friends with Sebastian.

Or is he?

No, Kurt decides, he can't be. Otherwise, why else wouldn't going to the Lima Bean with Blaine feel comfortable anymore? If he really was friends with Sebastian, he wouldn't feel the need to keep that friendship a secret from his boyfriend, would he?

No, Kurt and Sebastian definitely aren't friends, so Kurt stays silent and only lets Blaine join him on not-Sebastian days and doesn't feel guilty about keeping so many secrets.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine break up in the middle of May.

Kurt isn't sure if Chandler was the cause of the problems or the last straw in what has been a long series of little disagreements and big silences, but what he does know is that he doesn't deserve to be humiliated before the whole Glee club for a crime he hasn't even committed.

(A little voice whispers that had it been Sebastian who texted Kurt on that fateful night, he'd be feeling more guilty about the break-up than he is now, but Kurt stubbornly ignores it like he does with every warning bell that rings when he is on his mission.)

He cries himself to sleep every night for two weeks and stays in on the weekends, watching re-runs of some show or other and generally moping around the house.

On the second Saturday, the doorbell rings insistently until Kurt is tired of pretending no one's home and opens the door with a glare, only to reveal an equally annoyed Sebastian, standing there with his arms crossed and wearing yet another disgusting polo shirt which distracts Kurt long enough for the other boy to slip into his house uninvited before Kurt can shut him out.

Kurt bitches and rages and insults and somehow they end up screaming at each other right there in the corridor and Sebastian is accusing him of never telling anything about himself and Kurt is yelling "Why do you even care?!"

"Because I'm your friend, goddammit!" Sebastian screams right back.

Kurt cries.

Afterward, they sneak into Finn's room (luckily, Kurt's family is out for the day, Finn with friends and Burt and Carole on a date) and play video games for hours. They don't talk much, but from time to time Sebastian will pretend the zombie he's brutally murdering is Blaine and Kurt will scold him, his lips stretched into a smile he can't help.

* * *

After that, time moves incredibly fast. There's NYADA and finals to prepare for, not to mention Nationals and the usual Glee club and general high school drama. Blaine is sending Kurt mixed signals, Kurt is busy ignoring them and Sebastian is still a secret.

All in all, the future is approaching with a speed Kurt is less comfortable with than he would've expected, considering he's been looking forward to getting out of Lima since the first time he learned the meaning of the word 'fag'. Kurt is pretty sure he would've forgotten about his self-appointed mission if not for the fact that him and Sebastian are actually, truly friends now.

Who would've thought.

They still keep up their Lima Bean tradition, but on weekends, they will go on movies or visit each other's houses. Kurt crosses out the 'abusive parents' section, and the 'scarred childhood' gets a big question mark because those photos Sebastian's lovely mother showed him the other day might be embarrassing, but certainly not unhappy. And even though actual friendship wasn't something Kurt had anticipated when crafting his plan in the beginning, it doesn't really interfere with it. After all, Kurt really does want to help Sebastian get over whatever it is that makes him painfully sarcastic, almost cynic sometimes, over what makes him go to Scandals (although it doesn't seem like he does it very often anymore; he's with Kurt almost every weekend, after all) and scoff at any mention of anything related to romance and relationships.

So, they hang out. Sebastian is the first person Kurt texts after their Nationals win; Kurt is the only one of Sebastian's friends who gets to hear his fears and worries about what to study in college. Kurt goes to Sebastian's graduation and gets to see him adorably embarrassed as his crying mother embraces him and forces them to take a photo together; Sebastian goes to Kurt's graduation without letting him know beforehand, and is as surprised as the whole of New Directions together when a crying but happy Kurt hugs him hello.

And then it's summer, and Kurt doesn't get in, and his friends are moving on with their lives, and Sebastian is going to New York and Kurt is so, so fucking lost.

* * *

"You should move in with me," Sebastian says one day and Kurt chokes on the iced tea he's ordered instead of his usual coffee.

"E-excuse me?"

"Yeah," Sebastian shrugs. "Why not? Renting an apartment together will definitely be cheaper than living alone, and who are you kidding, NYADA or no NYADA, you're going to end up in New York anyway."

Kurt shakes his head, baffled. "But I don't even know what I'll be doing there!"

"So what?" Sebastian shrugs again, like it's no big deal. "You'll find something once you're there."

"You think so?"

Sebastian looks at him like Kurt just suggested he should kiss a girl. "Well, duh. You're Kurt. You'll either succeed or die trying, and I can already guarantee I won't let the second option happen because I need someone to pay half of my rent."

Kurt stares at him for a solid minute. Then he laughs.

And just like that, it's decided. Kurt ignores the fact that Sebastian's parents are rich enough to pay for a single room at the NYU dorms and thinks that living with Sebastian will provide even better grounds for sticking his nose into the other boy's hidden past.

He spends the rest of summer preparing for the move, hanging out with his friends and quietly not falling for his former enemy.

* * *

They've been living together for two months when the inevitable happens.

Kurt has been working at while Sebastian, against all expectations, begins to study photography at NYU. Their apartment is small, but it's bright, new and not too far from Manhattan.

It's home, for both Sebastian and Kurt. _Their_ home.

Kurt's list has become really short by now. Aside from possibly abusive distant relatives and things in France that Sebastian might still not have told him, there is not much left. Even the sex addiction has been crossed out a while ago, because for all the time they've lived together, Sebastian has never brought anyone to their apartment, and goes to clubs with Kurt or his NYU friends only. Mind you, he's still a downright asshole sometimes – Kurt wouldn't be able to count the fights they've had over cleaning, cooking, laundry, trash and just general Sebastian-being-in-a-bad-mood-ness.

Strangely, Kurt doesn't mind, not because it doesn't annoy him to no end, but because it's _Sebastian_. Sebastian, who will sometimes make him coffee in the morning, or cook dinner when Isabelle's keeping Kurt overtime. Sebastian, who falls asleep on the couch while watching Mythbusters and refuses to get up, mumbling protests in his sleep until Kurt fetches the pillow and blanket from Sebastian's room and lets him sleep right there, occasionally taking photos with his phone and storing them in a password protected folder, never to be seen by anyone else.

Sebastian, who listens to Kurt bitch about Brian Kinney during their Queer as Folk marathon for about an hour before he leans over the small space between them and kisses him quiet, right on the lips. "Shut up, Kurt," he says calmly, rolling his eyes like _Kurt_ is the crazy one here and flops back into his seat and turns the volume up.

Kurt stares at him for about five minutes before turning back to the TV and remaining quiet for the rest of the marathon.

Huh.

Apparently, kissing is a thing they're doing now.

* * *

Three hours later, Kurt finds himself being pressed into a wall on the way to Sebastian's bedroom and kissed violently while his own hands pull Sebastian's tshirt up over his head and his hips grind against Sebastian's in a heated frenzy. They stumble through the door and fall onto the bed none too gently, but neither of them cares.

Clothes fly to the ground and lips turn red from kissing and teeth leave marks on sensitive skin. Sebastian fetches lube and a condom from his nightstand and looks at Kurt like he's the embodiment of all sex dreams come together. "Okay?" he whispers and licks his lips. "Okay," Kurt whispers back and his chest clenches with that familiar feeling and he's feeling hot and cold at the same time and his heart beats wildly in his chest.

Oh damn, he thinks. Oh shit.

Sebastian kisses him again.

Oh _fuck_.

* * *

The transition from friends to lovers comes more naturally than Kurt would have ever expected, or dared to hope.

Sebastian is still not a romantic, and he still doesn't like actually _talking_ about being in a relationship, so it takes a while for Kurt to put a label on what they actually are. But they've been behaving like an old married couple since they moved in together anyway, and it doesn't feel like much has changed, except for sex being added to their routine. Eventually, Kurt does get Sebastian to admit that they're boyfriends, and when he announces said fact to his family and friends, both from Glee club and NYADA, he's almost annoyed that no one is particularly surprised.

Mostly though, he's happy. Of course, he still hasn't figured his boyfriend out completely, and the list is still hidden somewhere at the back of Kurt's desk, but he's not in any hurry now. Sebastian is with him, and he seems happy as well, and that's all they need for now.

* * *

Just like that, two years go by.

Things between Kurt and Sebastian are not perfect by any means. They fight, they smash dishes, they move out and live with friends; they break up five times before they finally give up and admit that they're probably going to be stuck together for the rests of their lives.

Kurt says "I love you" first; Sebastian says "I love you" in a bathroom stall at Callbacks with Kurt on his knees.

They're walking through a park in the direction of their subway station, bags of groceries and Chinese takeout in their hands. It's Friday, the week has been long and daunting and all Kurt wants is to curl up next to his boyfriend and watch some show or other. They're crossing a wooden bridge over a small pond and he's mentally going through the TV programme when he hears Sebastian say "Hey, Kurt. Catch." and something shiny flies through the air towards himself.

Automatically, Kurt reaches out with his free hand and snags the small thing, thanking his quick reflexes for the catch. He opens his palm and is faced with a small ring, glinting in the sunlight. "Where did you find that?" he asks, and wonders if it's plastic or aluminum, holding it up between two fingers for inspection.

"Marry me," comes the answer and Kurt laughs until he notices the ring seems heavy in his hand, much more so than a cheap accessory would. He looks closer, and yeah, aluminum doesn't shine like _that_. Silver does.

Kurt stills.

When he looks at Sebastian, the other man looks back at him with some sort of amused resignation, and an amount of nervousness Kurt hasn't seen his boyfriend show since he first introduced Kurt as his boyfriend to his mother.

...Oh.

The bag of groceries falls to the ground and Kurt's shaky hand comes up to cover his open mouth while the other one clutches the ring like a lifeline. "Wh-what if I hadn't caught it?" he asks, almost choking on the words because they're standing on a bridge and the water is right _there_ and oh my God, what was his idiot of a boyfriend _thinking_?

Sebastian shrugs, and rubs at his neck. "I'd have thought it was a sign, and tried again a few months later."

Kurt is slowly shaking his head from left to right, looking at Sebastian like he's a madman.

"So, is that a yes or a no?" Sebastian asks when the silence stretches for too long.

Kurt's laugh is hysterical and more of sob, really, when he launches himself at his fiance and kisses him right there on the bridge. "Yes, _yes_, of course it's a yes, you _idiot_."

Sebastian smiles and they kiss for a few more minutes until an elderly lady with her grandson in tow coughs pointedly behind them. They laugh, and head home, holding hands the whole way there.

That evening, they curl up on the couch and watch a movie Kurt doesn't really pay attention to, too busy kissing his fiance and tracing the silver band on his ring finger.

* * *

"Sebastian," Kurt says on their wedding night, when they're lying in bed after an amazing round of just-married sex. "I'm sorry. I'm a bad husband."

"Huh?" Sebastian asks, turning around to face Kurt in the darkness of their bedroom.

"Yeah," Kurt nods, turning around as well. "I know you're suffering, but I still haven't figured out the secret of your dark past."

"Kurt," Sebastian replies, "What the hell are you talking about? I don't have a dark past, I thought after three years of living together that'd be pretty obvious by now."

Kurt stares. "You don't?" He asks. "No scarred childhood? No abusive relatives? No psycho boyfriends? Nothing?"

Sebastian raises an eyebrow. "Uh, no? You've pretty much had the whole story of my childhood told to you by my family, whom, by the way, you've met at the wedding. Including all the relatives. And you know that I didn't actually _have_ any boyfriends before you."

"Huh," Kurt mutters and rolls onto his back to stare at the ceiling. Well. That was anti-climactic.

"Then why were you such an asshole back in high school?" he questions, facing Sebastian again.

"Baby," his husband answers with a grin and a wink, "I was born this way." He kisses Kurt on the lips and slings an arm around his waist. "Now, sleep. Remember, we still have to face Aunt Helga in the morning."

Kurt wrinkles his nose at the reminder of only one annoying (but in no way abusive) relative out of Sebastian's frankly _huge_ family that is staying in New York for the remainder of the week. "You're right," he replies. "Good night."

"'Night."

Soon, Sebastian is breathing deeply, no doubt exhausted from the eventful day, but Kurt can't fall asleep. Sure, in the light of the wedding preparations and the usual college stress, he hasn't thought much about his mission, but it still feels like he's lost a purpose somehow.

Then again, as he looks at his husband's sleeping face, Kurt comes to the conclusion that maybe the prospect of living the rest of his years with the man he loves is all the purpose he needs in his life. And he does love Sebastian, he realises suddenly, but not unsurprisingly, he loves all of him. The good parts and the bad parts equally, because the person Kurt wants is _Sebastian_, and he wouldn't be himself without the snark, the rude comments and the aloof attitude.

It's funny how the side of Sebastian Kurt had always wanted to explain away, to get rid of, has become the one Kurt wouldn't want to miss in the end. Kurt laughs, maybe with a bit of a crazy edge to it, and snuggles up closer to his husband. Sebastian makes a questioning noise in his sleep, but Kurt only shakes his head.

This is a secret he'll keep to himself, for a little while longer.

* * *

Thanks for reading, and please tell me what you thought! :)


End file.
